“Nobody escapes being wounded. We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not “How can we hide our wounds?” so we don’t have to be embarrassed, but “How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?”
When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.”
– Henri Nouwen
Are you struggling to be efficient again from being overwhelmed with distressing or debilitating feelings of grief?
As a loss and grief specialist, I have developed a pathway to help you re-engage and function well again at a rapid rate.
We all need a helping hand sometimes and there’s no shame in asking for, or needing, help. Adjusting to your new reality is not a simple or easy process, though others around you hope that it will be, and tell you to “get on with life”. It is actually quite complex for many reasons – not least because loss and grief affects not only you but those in your family, networks or community as well.
If we don’t adjust well to each loss or bereavement effectively, it could develop into complicated / prolonged grief or even desperation for some. For example, are you finding you still can’t talk about nor mention the name of the departed to others in conversation? Or bear to look at a photo of them without feeling intense emotional pain? Is time not healing? And nothing is changing?
This is an experience of grief on another level and I can help with these intense feelings of despair, anger or suicidal thoughts that have not diminished. Find out how: 07707138114
Why choose me to help you?
My own experiences of loss and bereavement have included ancestral genocidal murder, my forced emigration due to war, and grieving for the death of loved ones. As a result, I lost my sense of connection to my ancestors and with it, my sense of identity. It took me many years to process the tragedy and pain of it all, and I experienced shame from not ‘recovering’ as quickly as others expected me to. Although I will forever grieve these tragedies, I have also learned not to let them debilitate me anymore – to thrive instead of just survive, in honour of my ancestors.
Processing my own losses and grief, over many years in personal therapy, was a liberating experience. Engaging in spiritual and religious practices as well as the expressive arts (music, writing, dancing, acting, visual art) also helped me to heal and cope effectively with loss and grief so that I could re-connect with life and joy again. I am now able to adapt more quickly to losses.
My life experiences naturally led me to want to professionally support others who were also experiencing difficulties with their tragedies, emotional pain, concerns about life and the afterlife.
My first job as a professional companion was to an in-home, end-of-life care patient and her young child. Witnessing her untimely, yet gracious dying process was a pivotal experience for me. I could see how my facilitating and encouraging open conversations in the dying process helped make the post-death grieving slightly less painful. Since that experience, I undertook training to become a Christian Priest, and specialist training to work as a Healthcare Chaplaincy, to enable me to journey with people during transitional times of loss, health losses, the dying process and post-death bereavement.
While working as a Priest, I saw the need for vital training in psychotherapy to enable me to support the vulnerable who were not only exhibiting ‘normal’, but also severe reactions to the complex issues of loss and grieving, which many people minimise. Over the years, the combination of effectively supporting living losses, patients dying of terminal illness as well as bereaved individuals and families has been an enriching and rewarding experience.
Today, in my practice, I use my unique combination of skills, perspectives, multicultural sensibility and a strong sense of hope to help you find ways to adjust and cope with your new reality. I am keen to help the grieving (re-)appreciate life and their worth to others. So together, we will find a way that works for you to cope also. Find out how: 07707138114
What you’ll get when working with me therapeutically
- Reduction in low mood/’depression’, flashbacks, risk of divorce, family estrangement or suicidal thoughts
- Improved relationships and the ability to articulate your needs
- Getting unstuck in order to help you integrate the grief and function effectively going forward
- Healing from bad/toxic theology and religious trauma, and growing spiritually
- Emotional strength, resilience and the courage to rebuild your life and live fully again
- Smiling, laughing or experiencing glimmers of joy again without feeling guilty
- Developing self-compassion and expanding in your compassion for others
- Remembering the passing/memory of your departed with more love and lightness than pain
Fees for the benefits of these services
This will vary depending on the service you require.
- individual counselling/therapy or coaching (60-minute session) – £80
- couple or family therapy (90-minute session) – £120
- 2 hour + instensives, upon request
Reach out to arrange your session - get a bonus resource after booking
How I work for counselling/therapy and accompanying
For many, the support for dying and bereavement is a disjointed, chaotic process: they might see a Chaplain in a hospital, then a different Priest to conduct the funeral or memorial service, then a different person to offer them therapeutic support after the funeral.
I offer all these services in one place, to give you one consistent relationship throughout the process and a completely personalised experience. This holistic service of spiritual, religious, emotional and therapeutic support is for anyone in the community (either with, or without, a connection to a particular faith or religious community).
I will help you find meaningful ways to honour your loved one, and to help you create special memories that you will cherish forever.
Your experience and the impact of loss and grief will be shaped by a number of things:
- the kind of attachment you had with the loss or the deceased
- family role
- culture or race
- your gender
- your age
- religious/spiritual beliefs
- your values
- the realities of physical health / abilities
- socio-economic issues
- personal or cultural history / politics
This systemic (whole view) approach considers the interweaving of all these parts in your grief story as well as your internal viewpoint about loss and grief. I use a stance of curiosity, rather than analysis, to ask thought-provoking questions at appropriate times to help you change your emotional state and thinking about grief.
My approach to working with individuals, couples and families is based on systemic therapy. I help people to identify the underlying causes of unhelpful repetitive thoughts and behaviour, explore their interactions with others, improve communication and achieve better outcomes.
Being creatively expressive can be transformational in trauma / grief recovery. As a trained singer/musician, actress and writer, I provide an invitation and the opportunity for you to express your loss and grief in these and other creative ways too.
I have found that many people find these expressive outlets helpful in finding personal meaning and hope to reduce their suffering.
My Personal Background
Having lived across different continents in four countries, this experience has shaped who I am in developing awareness of cultural sensitivities and philosophies. I come from an Eastern collective culture and am well acquainted with the pressures of ancestry rituals, extended family and community network relationships impacting on positive and negative family dynamics.
Having also lived in Western cultures for many years, I understand and am sensitive to how differences in values within both Western and Eastern cultures can create conflict sometimes between generations, particularly around the bedside at the end of life or post-death.
My Professional Experience
My knowledge and working experience in the fields of psychology, counselling/therapy, end-of-life and bereavement care, coaching, as well as theology and the arts extends over 25 years.
- NHS Primary Care, acute hospitals and hospice, as a Spiritual Care Provider / Chaplain, and Team Improvement Coach
- NHS Secondary Care, Children’s and Adult Mental Health Services, Associate Therapist
- Mental Health Community Charity, DreamArts, Lead Therapist
- Education, school counselling service, Lead bereavement counsellor
- Churches, including working with young people and their families for over 20 years
- over 25 years working as a group facilitator
I am committed to equality of opportunity across the diversity of the human experience: I help individuals to use aspects of their sense of identity in order to help them find personally and culturally relevant ways to ease their distress.
Specialist Qualifications and Training
- Certified Compassionate Bereavement Care Provider in traumatic grief
- CAMS-care trained practitioner (Collaborative Assessment and Management of Suicidality)
- Certificate Bereavement Counselling
- Certificate in Complicated Grief Treatment
- Diploma in End-of-Life Therapy
- Diploma in Mental Health and Young People
- Diploma in Systemic Practice with Families and Couples
- Certificates in Facilitating Group Therapy
- Diploma and Certificate in Online Counselling
- Diploma in NLP coaching (Master Practitioner)
- Certificate in Healthcare Improvement Coaching
- Certificate in Motivational Interviewing
- Diploma in Journalism/Short Story Writing
- Bachelor of Arts in Historical Cultural Studies with Psychology
- Master of Divinity in Theology with Pastoral Counselling
Professional Organisation Memberships:
- NSMHF (National Spirituality & Mental Health Forum)
- BACiP (British Association of Christians in Psychology
- CHCC (College of Healthcare Chaplains)
For more, please see below.
I adhere to and follow the code of ethics / framework of ACTO, NRPC, UKBHC and AC.
If you would like to discuss how I could help you, please click here to contact me or call 07707138114.